As I was worshiping God and have been worried about if I'll be in the rapture and trying
so intently and determined to keep my eyes on God. I asked HIM if HE would comfort and
also bring me closer to HIM and be perfect in HIS sight and right with HIM. I came across
videos on YouTube of how I shouldn't be listening to secular music because lucifer (satan)
was once an angel who lead worship; it made me uncomfortable because I love Ariana Grande,
Britney Spears, Shakira (Etc.) and it was hard for me because I'm used to that. With all this
warnings and everything it seemed new and insane and that everything with it was foreign to me and
that it's real. I asked God to make me comfortable in HIM and not of this world and I know there is some
Christian singers that can be worldly and secular and I didn't know what to do because I love the
artists that I discovered when I become fully focused on God at a time before now but I started listening
to the ones in my playlist that I feel in me is true and never had seen videos on. As I started worshiping
with these songs I started to have doubts of questions like: What is God going to do once the age is done
(I don't believe it's going to end because HE is Immortal); surely HE isn't going to throw us away because
HE loves us and wouldn't be going to great lengths to wait for us to come to HIM and be merciful. Then I thought
about my childhood and how children are innocent and everybody loves them because they are so pure and funny.
I was thinking how when I was little (I'm not sure if this is anybody else but it is with me) I loved everybody and was happy all the time.
I didn't know that there was people that deceived anyone, I didn't know that satan was around putting thoughts in
my head; I was just loving everybody and hugging everybody I knew (then I was told not to do it because
it was "weird" and "not the thing to do") and I just think about how I love that innocence so much
and I hate the nonsense that I have experienced while I have lost that innocence. I now it shouldn't be
like that. I became depressed and sad because the world I once knew was gone and tainted. That's why
I cling to being like a Child (Matthew 18:3) because I don't want to sin. I know satan puts thoughts in
my head, lies to me and makes me doubt and I'm a sinner by birth because of Adam and Eve and that
Jesus saved me by Grace and I'm very Thankful for that. I don't trust this world. There is people
who don't like it but also say this is all there is and other stuff. I know people have said there's
a matrix or we're on television and we don't know it. I don't think that's a coincidence that we feel
like that. How I love love, being kind, love being moral, love pureness; I know that doesn't come from
myself but it comes from the creator who created me (Isaiah 64:8). I defiantly have questions for God but I would
rather live with my creator who loves me SO much than being separated from HIM suffering because a fallen angel hates
me and doesn't want me loved by my creator. If God didn't love me than why did HE send himself to save me
from the clutches of satan, why is HE so merciful to us, why is HE holding back HIS coming so that everyone
can have a chance to come to HIM and heed his warnings. If I didn't feel love from HIM I probably wouldn't be
wanting HIM to come back and be home with HIM because that's how I felt when I was worshiping HIM.
HE created me to have a relationship with HIM. I trust in the goodness, moral, pureness, love
that I have felt in my Childhood before I was tainted and mistreated by this world. I know that what we
think is right when we deal with this world but we shouldn't be listening to our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I don't know about how other people want to think and believe; that is not my business and people have their own free will
but I choose to be with my creator because I know this world lies and there are people that our untrustworthy and make
mistakes. Everybody is human. Nobody knows what is beyond this world. I believe and feel God and that HE is my creator
and if you want to scoff at me and tell me I'm delusional than fine but that's one of the reason I don't want be here
anymore because of that very thing that you do. If you really love me you wouldn't say things about me, you wouldn't scoff
at me, you wouldn't be doing anything hurtful if you honestly cared about me. I'm choosing to focus on God until HE returns or
until the day I die which ever one comes first. You do what you think is right; I hope it's correct. That's your choice but
I've made up my mind and nobody can change that.
God Bless 😃 😊 😃 😃 ❤ ❤ ❤
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